Facebook gets angry and 9 more of the top stories in tech

Has no one on Google's Boston Dynamics team read I, Robot?

What Happened?

It was a big week. You might have missed something.

The Rainbow of Human Emotion
As you are no doubt aware, Facebook officially rolled out their new Like button reactions this week, a set of pictographs with all the subtlety of a Donald Trump campaign speech. With our emotional vocabulary newly increased a whopping 500%, we will no longer face the cognitive dissonance of liking a friend’s eulogy for his dead pet; but before you go thinking you’re the intended audience for this development, think again. It’s all about the advertisers.

The Swan Song
Yesterday, Twitter personality Professor Jeff Jarvis, not to be confused with pontificating technophiliac Jeff Jarvis, somehow convinced Al Jazeera America to publish Six hot media startups to watch in 2016, skewering Fusion, Mic, Pando, and Al Jazeera America itself (which is actually shutting down today). The piece was promptly pulled.

The Open Office Plan Gets Even Better
Imagine what fun it will be when all your coworkers are talking to their computers.

Dark Side of the Moon
It was all over the “news” this week – newly released recordings revealed that Apollo 10 astronauts heard strange, otherworldly music while orbiting the far side of the moon. The truth, naturally, is almost as dull as a Pink Floyd album.

Frankly, We’d Be Happy If They Could Just Fix iTunes
But we suppose an iPhone even Apple can’t hack is also a good thing.

No More Wires
Verizon has begun testing a 5G wireless network and scientists at the University of Washington announced the invention of passive wifi.

Read This
Wired explores new research findings about the Lazarus Group, the shadowy team of hackers believed to be responsible for at least 10 major attacks, including the Sony hack attributed to North Korea.

When Will There Be a SpaceX for Kids?
An official Tesla Model S for kids is now available for pre-order.

At Least It’s Better Than Those Incessant Emails
LinkedIn is airing its first-ever television commercial during the Academy Awards on Sunday.

Now go forth (and don’t taunt the robots).