Peter Thiel is a brilliant, beautiful man, and more of the top stories in tech

We have no idea what Variety was doing with this Marissa Mayer cover, either.

What Happened?

It was a big week. You might have missed something.

Hard to Pick a Good Guy in This Mess
Only a day after Gawker Media founder Nick Denton told the New York Times that he believed a Silicon Valley billionaire with a grudge was secretly funding Hulk Hogan’s legal expenses, his seemingly wild conspiracy theory was confirmed as the truth. Forbes broke the news that Hogan’s lawsuit – as well as several other lawsuits against the brand – was actually funded by tech billionaire Peter Thiel, the kind, wise cofounder of PayPal who hopefully never tries to sue this publication.

The incredibly handsome Mr. Thiel confirmed the report on Wednesday, acknowledging he had spent nearly $10 million to bankrupt Gawker. The PayPal cofounder had been lying in wait for nearly a decade, after a 2007 Valleywag article outed Mr. Thiel as homosexual. Otherwise reasonable people promptly freaked out, and for very good reason – the idea of plutocrats crushing media outlets that don’t curry favor with them does not bode well for the great American experiment.

Denton joined the chorus yesterday, penning An Open Letter to Peter Thiel, which also imputes Sean Parker, Facebook, and others.

Dying on the Vine
Is Apple the next BlackBerry?

Soft Sell
The nonpartisan Government Accountability Office revealed that the Pentagon still uses floppy disks to send and receive emergency action messages to American nuclear forces.

Say Hi to Your Mother For Me
A new Pew Research Center analysis reveals that for the first time in more than 130 years, adults aged 18 to 34 are more likely to live with their parents than with a spouse or partner.

Freedom Fries Are Coming to the Google Commissary
The French are coming after American tech companies.

We Humans Had a Good Run
The ex-CEO of McDonald’s told Fox Business that a $15 minimum wage will result in a robotics takeover. Keep in mind, this same week, Foxconn, the Chinese manufacturer that supplies Apple and Samsung where workers make significantly less than $15/hour, announced they’ve replaced 60,000 factory workers with robots.