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Wakefield’s Dossier: The Week Ahead

Look forward to a frantic week ahead, as everyone tries to finish up work, survive the gauntlet of holiday festivities, and cash out their 401k’s before the world ends on Friday. Look forward to tongue-in-cheek coverage of the Apocalypse, an endless sequence of “Best of 2012” lists, and struggling to get “Santa Baby” out of your head.


Monday – Blue Monday


$600 billion in tax increases and spending cuts are set to go into effect on January first if the fiscal cliff debate doesn’t get settled sometime in the next two weeks. And in even bleaker news, the first funeral for the Sandy Hook victims will happen today at noon. As of this morning, more than 140,000 signatures had been collected on a petition seeking new legislation on gun control on the new whitehouse.gov open petition system.


Tuesday – All My Life (on Twitter)


Egypt’s opposition has called for nationwide protests today, to voice opposition to the much disputed draft constitution. Twitter is rolling out an option to let users download all their tweets this week. The functionality is still available to only a small percentage of users, so if, by chance, that’s you, you should definitely brag about it.


Wednesday – Seoul Singers

South Korea holds presidential elections today. Park Geun Hye, daughter of assassinated dictator Park Chung Hee, is the favorite. We spent the last hour trying to write a Gangnam Style joke for this one, without any success. If you’ve got anything, please let us know.


Thursday – RIM Gets Grim


RIM announces their earnings today. When’s the last time you heard of someone excited about buying a new BlackBerry? Maybe then you’ll understand why sales are expected to be 49% lower than this period last year. But! RIM is promising to totally makeover the BlackBerry in 2013, so that should really turn things around.


Friday – That’s All Folks


It’s the winter solstice today, and oh yeah, the Mayan Apocalypse! The eggheads at NASA are so sure the world isn’t ending, they’ve already released a video date-stamped December 22 called Why the World Didn’t End Yesterday. You going to believe the people who put man on the moon, or an ancient civilization that believed in goblins? Yeah, we’re going with the goblins.

We’ll be publishing a limited schedule next week, and back to our ways on January 2nd. Happy holidays to all.

Now go forth (and make it through the week).


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